The Haunted Fairy Castle ~ Installment 3
I went in for my interview today feeling, admittedly, pretty nervous. I was wearing a black suit my mother made me buy, and a pair of high-heeled pumps I last wore on the debate team in the eighth grade. At the last minute, I remembered that the right heel had broken off, in a particularly heated debate at Cleveland Middle School, so I stuck it back on with duct tape and hoped no one would notice.
The only other person in the waiting room was obviously insane. She was wearing a blue dress with glitter on the sleeves, and a pair of Minnie Mouse knee socks she must have stolen from a third grader. They had ruffles at the top and everything. I crossed my fingers and prayed she would be my only competition. While I was sitting there, muttering to myself, she leaned over and said, “Who is your favorite fairy princess?”
I said, “My what now?”
“Your favorite fairy princess,” she repeated patiently. “Mine’s the Blue Fairy. Technically, she isn’t a princess, but to me she embodies the true spirit of Disney. That’s why I always wear blue. My second favorite princess is Pocahontas.”
I blinked. Yes, I am aware that Disney produces animated movies every few years or so, most of them featuring fairy princesses who consort with talking pieces of crockery, and such, but I was not aware that adults watched these movies, much less ranked their favorite princesses and consulted them for fashion choices. It made me feel a whole lot better about my duct tape. I sat up straighter.
When I was called into the room for my interview, a woman with steely glasses and iron gray hair gestured for me to sit down, then said, “Who is your favorite fairy princess?”
I stared at her. I just couldn’t believe I was being asked this same question twice in one day. I opened my mouth to reply, when it suddenly occurred to me that I don’t know the name of a single Disney princess. Not one. I’m not even sure I’ve seen the movies. I panicked. I broke out in a sweat and my hands began to shake, and I felt a rash popping out on the backs of my arms, which happens when I’m nervous. I heard the sound of my own voice replying, as if from the end of a long tunnel.
“My favorite fairy princess is the Blue Fairy,” the voice said. “Technically, she isn’t a princess, but to me she embodies the true spirit of Disney.”
Now I feel guilty. I feel very guilty. I cheated on my Disney princess test. Later in the interview I told the woman my second favorite princess is Pocahontas. It sounded like a lie even when I said it. How can Pocahontas be a fairy princess? I thought she was some kind of historical figure. Somehow, it seems worse to lie about animated children’s cartoons than other subjects. I tried to pray that the Minnie Mouse girl would not be interviewed by the same woman. Obviously, the woman would know one of us was lying, and of the two of us, she might assume the one with the grinning Minnie Mouse heads stretched out over her calves was the more authentic Disney lover. But later in the day, I got a call saying I got the job. So now I’m praying that Minnie Mouse will get a job there too, and also that her cubicle will be very far away from mine, so she never finds out I plagiarized her fairy princess preferences.